Smile

Every time you smile,

you slip stars under

my skin and galaxies

bloom like gardens,

and I can hear the

sound of something

other than space.

Things I learned last year

I learned that independence
is not a solo journey. That
sharing myself does not mean
giving myself away. I learned
that compromise is strength,
not weakness. That holding on
feels exponentially better than
holding back. That freedom is
not the opposite of commitment,
but a commitment in itself.
I learned that love is liberation
and not constraint. And that I
should stop looking and start seeing,
I should stop running away
and start running towards.

I couldn’t

I didn’t make my bed this morning
because I couldn’t. Because your shape
was on my sheets, my pillows smelled
like aftershave and I wasnt sure when
I’ll behold you again.

I didn’t make my bed this morning
so that I would be able to sleep
next to you tonight,
even though I’m not
next to you at all.

Art from @gabrielepennacchioli

He tries

He tells me how he feels
ashamed as he explained his
struggle to find the right words
to express his love for me.
Behind every cliché line and
overused metaphors he scribbled
on the Christmas card he gave,
I know there is something so
precious between us that language
itself can’t name. So I treasure
every word he gives me like
they are pieces of himself,
because, goddamit, at least he tries.

Remind his worth

He feels that his failure is more
devastating to him than it is to you.
So when you find him with his fists
in his hair and his heart in his mouth,
remind him that his worth is not in his
words alone but in his heart, and you
wouldn’t have him any other way.

When he’s drained and consumed, love him most. When he feels defeated and ready to give up, love him so much that you bring to life every cell in his that has almost died.

The summer in winter

His touch was a
transitory evocation
of summer days.
You could almost smell
the promise of heat and
passion. As the winter
coldness kisses my face,
I think of his breath like
the summer breeze
whipping salt unto my skin.

To this day, 14 months
and 2,756 miles away,
no one makes me
ache like you.

My body revolts against itself just so it could miss you. Tag that person you’re missing right now. #officiallymissingyou

#bemymuse 33, as requested by @pessimist_romantic

Smiles and sunrises

On some days,
when the fog and the sun and the wind dance just so,
you’ll see flickers of gold through cracks in the clouds,
like fine knife cuts, like the stories I carved into my arms
as a teenager, quiet and symmetrical, violent and beautiful,
as if holding their breath, until light finally bursts in a slow,
blinding yellow ripple along the horizon. And on those days,
if you forget the roles you play, and the promises you broke,
and the lovers you left waiting, if you let yourself be small
and breakable and infinite for one second,
you will be able to see the sunrise smile.

I hope you are never too busy to watch the sunrise smile.

#bemymuse 32 33 – Clouds as requested by @_annie._.boo, beautiful as requested by @lonpoetry

Leave your dignity intact

Know when it’s time to give up.
Treat yourself like the QUEEN that you are.
There is nothing noble about unrequited love.
You deserve so much more. You’re not a vulture.
Don’t prey on a weak body that’s too tired to love you back.

#bemymuse 31 – as requested by @ejpchua and @kris_ennn

The gamble in relationships

I hate it when you use words like “let’s try” or “we’ll take it slow.”

As if we haven’t already screwed each other up, as if we don’t
have scars, scorch marks and blood beneath our fingernails.

Romanticizing forever like we didn’t know the
sulfur taste of the abyss, as intimately, as infinitely,
like each and every hope that has drowned to it.

Love should not be a gamble to see
which of us is the most breakable.

#bemymuse30 as requested by @mrs.wyatt17.

Abyss, scar – for #poember josted by @rojobosque and @siracusabg.

Declaration of Independence

I am taking back
every word
every fevered kiss
every promise
every spark
every hope
that you stole from me,
when I was too naive to realize
that giving was an option.

I am carving my
declaration of independence
from you, into the walls I put up
when you left. And if we ever
meet again, know that I am
who I’ve become
inspite of you,
not because of.

#bemymuse 29, as requested by @september.stardust