The summer in winter

His touch was a
transitory evocation
of summer days.
You could almost smell
the promise of heat and
passion. As the winter
coldness kisses my face,
I think of his breath like
the summer breeze
whipping salt unto my skin.

To this day, 14 months
and 2,756 miles away,
no one makes me
ache like you.


My body revolts against itself just so it could miss you. Tag that person you’re missing right now. #officiallymissingyou

#bemymuse 33, as requested by @pessimist_romantic

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Smiles and sunrises

On some days,
when the fog and the sun and the wind dance just so,
you’ll see flickers of gold through cracks in the clouds,
like fine knife cuts, like the stories I carved into my arms
as a teenager, quiet and symmetrical, violent and beautiful,
as if holding their breath, until light finally bursts in a slow,
blinding yellow ripple along the horizon. And on those days,
if you forget the roles you play, and the promises you broke,
and the lovers you left waiting, if you let yourself be small
and breakable and infinite for one second,
you will be able to see the sunrise smile.

I hope you are never too busy to watch the sunrise smile.

#bemymuse 32 33 – Clouds as requested by @_annie._.boo, beautiful as requested by @lonpoetry

Declaration of Independence

I am taking back
every word
every fevered kiss
every promise
every spark
every hope
that you stole from me,
when I was too naive to realize
that giving was an option.

I am carving my
declaration of independence
from you, into the walls I put up
when you left. And if we ever
meet again, know that I am
who I’ve become
inspite of you,
not because of.

#bemymuse 29, as requested by @september.stardust

You are safe

Let my collarbone be your confessional.
Leave your d e m o n s here.
I will cradle them between my shoulder blades.
Let the bed be sweat-stained, fear-stained,
sin-stained, and shaking for the hundred and one
reasons you never had the courage to name.
I will drink the venom of your tragedy and turn it
into spring water in our throats. You are safe.

I have been so disconnected with IG lately. I’m so terribly sorry. I’ve never felt so overwhelmed with my life. From adjusting to a new job just a few months ago, to moving and finding another job while thinking, gosh will this job hunting ever end, I’m too old for this! And then finally finding one along with the prospect of a new love, then evaluating it if it’s really for me, but then deciding I deserve better things so I had to give up the job along with the guy 💔 sigh I know.

I read somewhere that we can have everything! Just not at the same time. It’s been a roller coaster so far! But I believe in timing and in my capabilities.

I’m thankful that I was patient and courageous enough to wait for what I deserve. I’ve finally found the job that I’m happy with.

As for love, well, that will come eventually. I’m not waiting, nor am I looking – what will be 🎶 will be.

For #bemymuse 27, as requested by @cairageous.

Trust me, I will try

Believe me when I say I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep. Every time I think of telling you I want you for your bad days and your good, I flinch back into myself, saying nothing. I am so afraid of finding out I’m not strong enough to hold the both of us.

But trust me when I say I love you.

And that means I will try anyway.


#bemymuse 25, as requested by @cynthiapadillajd

Sweet destruction

There is something about our sweet destruction
that is so irresistible to the senses. Day by day,
I am becoming accustomed to the crashing,
the breaking, the wild, spinning-madly-out-of-control
bliss as our language. I look forward to waking up
with you coffee ground into my spine, as my body
melts in your hands like heroin on spoon,
attempting to spell addiction in my pulse.

Catching up on #bemymuse
Irresistible – as requested by 
@rbeezie12
Bliss – as requested by 
@shgrace7
Spin – as requested by 
@parchedllama

Numb

I don’t remember you tasting like anything
other than last night’s alcohol, yesterday’s
could be’s, and this morning’s regrets.
I remember you like my wine glass,
more than half full of air and broken
promises. Although my body still
aches of places you called home,
this only happened because it was
too dark for me to tell the difference
between concrete and collarbone.

Don’t get too numb that you can’t tell the difference.
#bemymuse 20 & 21
Broken – as requested by 
@juliawollentz,
Broken promises – as requested by 
@pirah.farooqui.