I’ve met too many men who lovedmy surface but feared my depth. I’m a crazy, chaotic maelstrom of laughter and warmth, happiness andnostalgia. I’m a hurricane of feelings and words, twisted and entwined in one… More
For a while now, I have always thought of getting old as some horrific monster threatening to strangle the life out of me. Although people around me don’t really say it, I’ve felt this incredible pressure to fit into the same social construct that generations of women before me have traditionally fit into with ease: that of a wife and a mother. Every year, I give myself a self-imposed deadline to accomplish this feat.
But over the years, I can honestly say that not only do I no longer give a single fuck about anyone’s social constructs, I’ve cared less and less about his and her towels, bridal gowns, or the expiration date of my ovaries.
What I do care about is loving well and being loved, waking up to a job that excites and fulfills me, having enough down time to do the things that are important to me, and surrounding myself with enough people, music, art, and poetry to feed my soul.
I’ve decided that there is no room in my life for abstract concepts, so I’ve learned to let them go.
𝐻𝑒𝓇𝑒’𝓈 𝓉𝑜 𝒶𝓃𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝒸𝒶𝓃𝒹𝓁𝑒 𝑜𝓃 𝓂𝓎 𝒸𝒶𝓀𝑒 🍻 𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓅𝓎 𝒷𝒾𝓇𝓉𝒽𝒹𝒶𝓎 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝑒!
I’m a woman with an old soul. I like the hot sun and the cold rain, the glamour of the city lights, the noise at a crowded bar, the silence of a book shelf. I believe that joy is contagious, love can make people dizzy, and that people are innately good. I’ve had enough of handsome sadists, dim Adonises and brilliant couch potatoes. I know what I want and I am not gonna settle!
This page is for anyone who has loved, lost, or made a fool of themselves, in the name of love.
I don’t remember you tasting like anything
other than last night’s alcohol, yesterday’s
could be’s, and this morning’s regrets.
I remember you like my wine glass,
more than half full of air and broken
promises. Although my body still
aches of places you called home,
this only happened because it was
too dark for me to tell the difference
between concrete and collarbone.
What we had wasn’t love,
maybe it was loneliness,
maybe it was lust,
maybe it was simply
wanting to feel again.
Yet somewhere along the way,
we made the silent decision to
call it love because neither
of us really knew what we were.
Giving monsters pretty names
doesn’t change anything.
I am more lioness than girl.
I am more snarl than smile.
I am not the silent type purring
sighs into your chest. The way
that I will scream your name
is more roar than moan, as my
nails claw the flesh of your
backbone. I am the insatiable
beast of the night and morn.
Save for the moments between
sunset and darkness, when your
fingertips find the curve of my
waist, and you pull my raging
form tight against our heaving
breaths and heartstrings.
If there’s one thing I hate about moving, its signing up to home services anew. When I went to PLDT Urdaneta, I was informed that I can request for a move/transfer of my internet service seamlessly. All I had to do was make a request in PLDT La Trinidad.
So I first went there on August 18, filled up the form and sketched my area for surveying. I was informed that it was going to take at least a month to get surveyed. I know! La Trinidad is such a big area and I’m surprised that they do not have enough manpower. There was only 1 customer service and only 1 cashier in their small office. I was told that they were going to call me once everything was ready.
Fast forward to today, still no internet! I have been very patient waiting for their call. I was using the prepaid LTE router, which is pretty good, if not for the data cap which I abhor. So I went to PLDT La Trinidad to follow up, arrived quarter to 1 pm, thinking I can get ahead of the line while the customer service was on lunch break.
It’s 3:20 pm and the customer service was still on break! Lol. I mean seriously! And then they close at 5:30pm. What can you accomplish at that amount of time? People were getting furious and one of the women waiting was already creating a commotion.
I am baffled at how crappy the service is. I mean i f you know that people are waiting for you, will you really take your sweet time and let them wait for more than 2 hours? What company tolerates lunch breaks for more than 2 hours?
The terrible thing is, PLDT has a monopoly of the internet service. Globe unfortunately does not have service in my area. I do hope the internet service with BENECO pushes through. We need a break from PLDT’s incompetent customer service.
I want to be the sort of scripture that
you are not afraid to call good news.
Let my words be the verses that sink
through your blood stream and anchor
themselves to your pulses when
you are unsure of this world.
I don’t want you to worship the
frayed binding of my spine,
but I want to be the reason
you believe in something bigger
than the parables etched in
my skin like hymns.
Tonight, the bartender asked me “what’s your poison?”,
and I wanted to respond with your name.
But the truth is, they have yet to learn
how to bottle love, how to create a drug
that’s potent enough to mimic the intoxicating
addiction of another person’s heart,
beating in time with yours.
So I will settle for a bottle of tequila for now,
and a hangover strong enough to help me forget
selected memories, even if only for a night.
There is nothing romantic about a love
that used to be, a love that happened,
and then ended, just like everything else
in the world. People often romanticize
tragedy, like the kiss that almost was,
the “maybe” that could have been but
will remain a “what if” forever. There
is nothing beautiful about something
that once was, but died. Ended. Failed.
Through clenched teeth and failing knees,
my soul resiliently hums a symphony of hope.
I know my heart will heal,
fear will loosen its icicle claws.
But for now, each keystroke soothes and
revives the tender ears of my forlorn heart,
as it listens to the tune of a humble song
that calloused feet keep pressing on.