Things I tell myself in the shower:
- It has to be possible to will yourself to stop wanting someone.
- Your heart is not broken, that’s stupid, if it were you’d be dead.
- Nothing hurts, it’s just your imagination.
- You’re better than this.
- You will be okay.
- Be okay.
*For Day 9, #novembernotes hosted by @thesarahdoughty @areadingwriter and @mah.writes
Why do you say that he broke you?
You let him influence you. You let him change you.
You let your guards down. You threw away your masks.
You let him in, more or less. And when he left? It destroyed you.
Who gave him the control to do that to you? You.
Then how can you still say that he broke you, love?
I have made peace with the mystery under my skin,
the stardust in my bones, the light in my thoughts,
the fossils and galaxies, my flaws and vulnerabilities.
I will remake myself everyday until I feel each cell awaken,
until I am better and unbroken.
You are the faint apparition of dreams I bartered over sleep,
always insufficient. You leave so often, elusive from my grasp,
the way someone broke you, and my love can never quite keep you together.
I’ve crashed and burned, so broken down I’ve turned to ASH.
I will slip through your fingers and stain your skin.
You will touch other people with me on your fingertips.