So after using the Oppo F7 for a few months, I’ve decided to go back to using an iPhone. And since I just moved, with my internet provider moving sluggishly slow in moving my service, I don’t have internet yet #3rdworldprobs. I know, I know! The lady at PLDT told me that it would take a month just for my area to get surveyed sigh.
Thankful that my area has good LTE signal, I use my phone’s mobile internet as a spot so that I can still fulfill my freelancing tasks.
However, upon switching back to iPhone, I was surprised at how much data it eats up! When I was still using my android + laptop + job-related surfing and the usual social media trolling, I consume around 1 gig in 3 days. As soon as I went online using my iPhone, it hasn’t even been 15 mins yet, and I already got an alert that my 1 gig subscription has been consumed! Unbelievable!
After scouring the internet for solutions, I found out that just turning off the background app refresh does the trick. Whew.
It was a tiring day but upon passing by this place on my way home, I must say, I feel a bit better.
I am not new to this place, I studied here, got married, worked, studied again, until my grandmother got sick and I had to move to the plains to take care of her. With the house being so old, after the recent typhoon, there was a short circuit and something exploded. I was terrified. Majority of the house was made of wood, I was scared the house might be on fire while I’m sleeping.
So I’ve moved back. This is how it looks at night ❤
Note: credit to image owner, the photo is not mine
I’m not the type who takes a lot of selfies. Today, he took a hundred horrible pictures of me, and said he loved each one. I could feel that he meant it. Is this how it is to h e a l ? Unlearning panic and believing when a person says they won’t leave you, having the courage to trust. Again. I just have to learn to stop being scared of saying that.
I hand him the pathetic me on a plate: the clingy, demanding, hot-tempered version of myself, gift-wrapped in insecurities. And he opens his arms, closes his eyes, cradles my stubbornness like a child, and hugs and kisses me blindly. That is what love does, he says, that is w h a t l o v e i s.
The only flowers that last f o r e v e r are the ones you pick and press in between the pages of your favorite book, where another story, not in ink, is kept sacred, of a love you were too scared to l e t b l o o m.
My fingertips yearn for the hard and the soft of you. My mouth waters for the sweet, salty taste of your lips. I am forever longing for the burn of your kisses against my skin, for the way you fit against me, inside me. I am half crazed from wanting you.
I thought of you today. For what we were, and what we weren’t, for what we could have been and what we could never be, for what you changed in me and for what will never change. I cried because I knew you and because I only knew certain parts of you, because I loved you and never got the chance to.
I talk too much when I’m with him. At night, in bed, I say things I might not say if we were clothed and my fingers were not laced through his and the sun was hovering over my shoulder and casting a harsh light on my words.
Here in the dark, where we two comprise the entirety of the universe, where everything seems right and eviternity seems possible, I think too little and I talk too much.